One interesting aspect of the issue of effective parenting is that the so-called experts have really only been studying the subject since the 1920s.
There are basically three types of parent or three types of parenting technique used by parents.
The authoritarian technique sees the parent issue commands, set down rules and rule, if not with a rod of iron, then at least with a firm hand. This style of parenting has been used for as long as children grew up working with and for their parents. It is a method still used by some parents today but is discredited by child behavior experts.
The permissive technique sees the parent doing the opposite of an authoritarian parent. The permissive technique is almost an anything-goes approach. The child is free to do what it thinks is right with little or no intervention from the parents. This permissive technique was popular after the second world war and was a response to the past severe lifestyle to which many children were once subjected.
The democratic technique is the one favored by child experts today. It sees a mixture of the two techniques above but without the extremes or excesses of these techniques. There are rules but there is freedom. The rules are explained and the reasons given as to why behaving in such a manner is good for everyone. Children are encouraged to make decisions but all within a solid framework involving respect for others and the interest of everyone.
If ever there was a parenting technique for the 21st century then democratic is it.
There are important aspects to this democratic technique. At all times your child is to be congratulated on their success. Following a rule, making a decision to avoid danger and to assist others is something to be praised, mentioned and even rewarded.
Quality time is an expression used a lot these days and it means that you do actually spend time with your children during which they are your sole focus. Being with your children while they play and you do something else is not quality time.
There is a fine balance between stating the rules and sticking to them and then being flexible if circumstances warrant it. Children want consistency but they also want the chance to put their case on some occasions.
A parent using the democratic technique knows that everyone is on a learning curve – parent and child. Look for ways to improve your parenting technique, to become a more effective parent and enjoy the life you share with your kids.
It’s possible to list the aspects of a good parenting technique but there is one fact which can never be ignored. Every child is unique and the needs of each child have to be taken into account. To argue that one parenting technique fits all simply doesn’t work. So find the technique which the experts endorse and which you believe to be correct and then adapt it to meet the specific needs of your child.
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