If you are having problems within your family with your spouse and/or children, it may well be time to engage a family therapist. That’s not to say you can’t try and work through your problems on your own. It can work. But often the problems are too intense; you have little if any training and the situation really demands an independent outsider.

So you decide to find a family therapist but don’t know how. Here are some ideas on ways to go about the search.

Talk to folk who have engaged a family therapist. Within your circle of friends and associates there may be someone who has worked with a family therapist. Can the therapist be recommended? That’s a good starting point.

Then you can ask those in a position to know such as your doctor, priest, pastor or rabbi or even your school principal.

Finally there are the associations of therapists which have an online registry of thousands of their members. You should consider obvious things like location but cost and experience are also factors.

Let’s say you have found the names of some family therapists who would seem to meet your criteria. You don’t know them and you have few if any recommendations. How do you choose the right therapist?

Well surprisingly you interview them. You ask them a number of questions and depending on their response, you select the one you believe will be best for your situation.

You could question them via letter or email but by telephone or personal interview is better. Being able to hear the therapist or even meet with them face to face will certainly help you decide.

Then there are the questions you need to ask and here is a sample.

  1. Where did you train to be a therapist?
  2. Where did you do your internship and who was your mentor?
  3. How much experience have you had with family therapy patients?
  4. What type of family therapy problems have you treated?
  5. What are your fees?
  6. Broadly speaking, what is your approach to helping your patients?
  7. What is your philosophy concerning family therapy?
  8. Approximately how long would you expect my therapy to last?

Once you find your therapist, the process has only begun. You must be as open and as honest as possible; you must trust your therapist and have a hopeful and positive attitude. Approaching therapy with a negative outlook will only reduce the chances of your success.

Do not look at the fact that you have entered therapy as a sign of failure. Rather it is a sign that you care deeply about your family and want whatever problems you have to be resolved.

The number of families who undertake therapy are many and the type of problems encountered likewise. There are excellent family therapists out there and many issues are resolved through therapy. Find the right family therapist, be enthusiastic and helpful and trust them to help you and your family win the day.

Here are additional resources you might be interested in:

How to Become a Family Therapist

Finding Marriage and Family Therapists in your Area